A Modest Proposal by Zahra Ahmad

It is a vexing occurrence to drivers that every day and every drive is accompanied by gaping holes in the road, cracked asphalt stretching maybe one three or five miles, or that same asphalt filling a break in a concrete road. What adds to this issue leaving an almost impossible fix is the fact that the winter season of Michigan lasts quite a long time, almost 5 months when gauging the time period when snow typically falls, so that leaves the rest of the 7 months of non-snowy weather, and taking out 2 months to account for ideal outdoor working weather conditions leaves only 5 months in a year to work on fixing the roads.
Considering the general consensus of all locally-residing parties, it is nearly unanimous in belief that, put simply, "good roads" is something Michigan lacks. An experienced acquaintance of mine in the governmental field claims that $175 million more has been put in funding. As many people would be able to tell, the physical reassurance isn't there; the roads are still bad. This is why I am going to purpose a new method for the up keeping of Michigan roads.
Money has forever been the only means of assistance for roads taken from citizens, this being in the form of taxes, and it is no secret that citizens demand more and more from the government as a result. However, it cannot be ignored that results do not meet demand, and as more money continues to be put in to a system we heavily regard, the issue must simply lie in the systematic procedure of executing a task.
Therefore, the best solution as I see it is not to put the money (money of taxpayers, money of the government, money of the development and infrastructure sector) into the road materials but be physically put into the roads themselves. Unlike Ohio, (where the weather is just as bad but the roads tenfold smoother) smooth roads are not the result of the money we put in. So, instead of having to invest in the purchasing of rollers, trucks, asphalt, and concrete, all that needs to be done is the collection of the physical dollar bills and coins. Better yet, as many lives of road workers will not be at risk since only a few will be needed to lay out the money.
To put this in perspective, consider the current design. Pouring a thick layer of asphalt into a pothole of a concrete road is done, assuring the people that their own cars will be the mechanisms to even out their mediocre job. I can assure that instead of jeopardizing own property to finish what our money alone should have accomplished, we can save money of car repairs by having a smooth cushioning on the road instead.
Rest assured in the validity of this plan, as I have been physically effected by the current conditions of the road. Driving and feeling every pothole in your spine will no longer be an issue as dollar bills are soft, and can easily be bent and folded to fit the contours of any crack.

Comments

  1. I love how you exaggerate both the conditions of the road and the seemingly excessive amount of money used to repair those roads. I also really liked the sophisticated tone you infused into your piece. Nice blog!

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  2. I really like how you adopted Swift's tone! Love how you incorporated irony, calculations, reference to a knowledgeable associate, and established your objectivity in regards to the proposed solution as Swift did. Great post!

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  3. Great job, Zahra! I love how you adapted Swift's tone into a modern problem. I really like that you included humor and irony into the overall satire.

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